THE UNiCORN DIARY

We all know the feeling when you get a text, right? I, at least, get all excited! However, it seems like it’s always generated messages nowadays… From Comviq, or H&M… And so, all the excitement is gone instantly.

Solen skiner, det är knappt ett moln på himlen och kvicksilvret kokar i termometern! Eller, nja, kanske inte det sista, men jag svettas hursomhelst som en gris! Var nyss på studentmottagning hos Tilda, men det var så mycket folk att vi knappt hittade henne. Elof Lindälvs gymnasium, vilken röra! Hundrafemtioelva klasser samtidigt! Vi hittade i alla fall hennes flak, som tur var. Snart blir det studentmottagning ute på gården!

Me and mum went shopping today, since a friend of mine is graduating tomorrow and we had to buy her something. But except for a present, I found a pair of shoes for 69 SEK! That’s about… 7 euros, or 9 US dollars! Unfortunately they hadn’t got my usual size, but I managed to sqeeze my feet into a smaller pair! Oh, happy day.

Klockan är strax innan nio på morgonen och mamma kommer in i rummet. ”Vet du vad vi skall göra idag?” kvittrar hon glatt. Nyfiken vänder jag mig om och ser frågande på henne. ”Vi skall VACCINERA oss!” Chocken slog emot mig och jag fick en panikångestattack med dödsskräckskrik och tårar som sprutade.

Först skall jag förtydliga att detta inte var någonting mamma kom på bara sådär, det var någonting vi diskuterat tidigare eftersom fästingar med TBC har påträffats i närheten där vi har sommarstuga. Men att mamma kommer in så där på morgonen och förkunnar att hon bokat tid vid elva… det funkar inte!

Nu är det gjort hursomhelst. Vi hade världens bästa läkare och jag hoppas verkligen vi får henne nästa gång också. Fästingvaccinet måste tas i tre doser – såklart, det hade väl inte varit nog med EN ångestattack, utan TRE?

Nu skall jag laga mat! Tjing på er så länge!

I have tried to write this letter at least a hundred times by now, and I begin to fear that I will never succeed in finishing it. Words seem useless when it comes to express the way I feel about you. No matter what I write, it is never enough. What I feel is beyond words.

To me, love seemed so silly and childish. I thought it was a feeling like any other, a pleasant warmth inside of one’s chest. You taught me that love is so much more than that. You have shown me a new side of love, of life even, which was earlier unfamiliar to me. I always thought that what I felt for Christian was love. I realise now that it was not. Until I met you I never understood, that what I really felt for him was simply the affection that comes with safety and the comforting knowledge of having someone to rely on.

My love for you is so very different. Yet, no matter how great my love for you might be—no matter how much my bewitched body and intoxicated soul suffer when we are apart—I cannot deny the fact that there is still a part of me which loves Christian. Even though my love for him is of a different kind, it still breaks my heart to think of what pain I will cause him by letting him know about my feelings for you. How can I explain without hurting him so tremendously? I have already seen how my recently frigid behaviour has wounded him. He is not the sort of person who forgives easily. I fear that he will hate me forever if I leave, that I will never be forgiven. I know that my cowardice surely will strike back at me one day, but it does not change the fact that I’m too faint-hearted to leave Christian. I do not ask of you to understand this—how could you?—even I hardly can. All I ask is that you accept it. I have no right to ask you to overlook my weakness; still, I wish you would. Forgive me. Please, try to forgive me for not being as brave and decisive as you. I’m plain, of that I’m painfully aware, but it is in my nature. I beg you not to be crossed with me because of my character—it is nothing I can help.

I feel so lost. I’m torn between affections and reason. My heart tells me not to let you go, but my head tells me I have to. This distress has made me shed many tears. I have come to realise that you deserve far better than anything I can possibly offer. It was not easy to accept this insight; nonetheless, it cannot be ignored. My final decision has therefore been made. We can no longer see each other. You, as well, must acknowledge this. It is my wish, that we from this day on must be strangers to one another. This letter shall be the only proof of that we were ever in love.

Human beings have always had a tendency of longing for what they cannot have. It is the way of the world. And so, we must learn to live with the loss of what we desire the most.

Den här är så… himla… BRA!! Jag älskar den. Topp 5 annars bojkottar jag ESC nästa år! Vad tycker ni?

… men idag ”langar jag deppen” som Ida så perfekt uttryckte det. Det gör ont, så himla ont. Det är som om någonting har dött. Jag kommer sakna att åka till skolan varje morgon. Skolan var mitt andra hem. Ja, det låter väldigt pluggis, men så var det. Sedan fick jag ju faktiskt hela 20,0 exkl. meritpoäng, så pluggis är jag ju. Men usch vad depp.

Här badar alla i Poseidon utanför Stadsteatern i Göteborg. Amanda och några grabbar håller upp Teoretiska-lakanet. Så himla fint! Jag badade dock inte, hade ju kameran med mig. Lite trök att inte vara med på några kort, men, men, sånt är livet för människor bakom kamera!

Idag kommer förövrigt förhoppningsvis min MacBook Pro 13″! Fick med en extern hårdisk på 1 TB. Fattar ni? En TERRAbyte!! Helt sjukt ju!

Varför? För att vår psykologilärare vill sysselsätta oss in i det allra sista.
Vilka? Ingen aning!

Dags att dra till stan för att sätta igång! Bye!

Ha ha ha! He’s sooooooo cute!